10:13pm in the Garden of OK and Not Great

I have approximately $250.00 to my name. This is distressing. Distressing if it wasn’t also completely liberating. This is exactly the situation I want to be in, because this is when the magic happens. What magic, you ask. And that’s a wonderful question. And the answer is: I can’t tell you. Because you’re not ready for it. It’s too shocking. And also because I can’t think of anything.

The sun set several hours ago here in the Bosque de la Primavera, on the outskirts of Guadalajajajalajajra, Mexico. I’m staying at a place that has a Temazcal, which is essentially a brick hut you sit in to become too hot, sweat too much, and commune with the spirits. Wise people from around the world have always known that sweating is the path to salvation. Sweating = work. Sweating = exercise. Sweating = a cheap Air Bnb an hour away from Guadalajara where I’ll stay a week before going back to Guadalajara to start my empire. Again, you’re probably wondering what this empire is. And this time I can tell you: It involves teaching. It involves Air Bnb. It involves the US Consulate. It involves red wine. It involves getting paid $2.50 an hour to teach a conversation class. It involves vegetarian burritos. It involves a guy with mayonnaise on the corner of his mouth. It involves a friend of mine who I think lives in Korea now. And it involves sweat lodges. And possibly peyote.

Anyway, I just wanted to say hi and get in contact with you guys. I’m sorry about the name of this blog. It’s so cheesy. So hipster. So everything I hate about travel blogs.

Which somehow makes it perfect.